Day The Second - Smite Justice!

I thank you all for tuning in, once again, to CR News At Eleven. Now, today's top story is how Regy Rusty attained his marvellous swordfighting skills - so we aren't going to be showing that to you. Instead, we will look at the recent murders around the city.

First of all, a body was found at the Hospital this morning. Apparently, four people were brought to the Hospital to update their prescriptions - of the four, three of them left, seemingly satisfied with the medical marijuana packed into their pockets. The fourth did not receive any such marijuana - the body of Mayday was found this morning, with a note in her pocket.

"The heat of Egypt compells you to die in the name of the great Boss Velotix, Overlord of Mafia City!"

The meaning of the note is unclear to us at this time; a pistol found on Mayday's ankle is a clear sign that she was, in fact, a Vanilla Mafioso. Furthermore, evidence has come to light that the corrupt doctor Zakeri was the person who called the other patients to the hospital - for your safety, it is recommended that you stay away from the Doctor at all costs. We have also discovered that the needle was tipped with Plague of Locusts. We are not sure what this means at the present time.

In addition, it appears that Sir Sinbad has made a complete recovery from being hit with a goddamn rocket launcher. Several people at the office have requested that we change Sir Sinbad's name into Sinbadass - I approve of this name. Sinbadass has been admitted out of the hospital and we recommend that he is congratulated for being so brave at a time when he was hit by a rocket launcher. However, as he stepped outside of the Hospital, a bolt of lighting swooped down and turned him into ashes - Sinbadass, who survived a rocket launcher to the face, was killed by a bolt of lightning. The police investigators found a letter on his charred remains - it was from the LaytonFairy, welcoming him to Team Aoshi - it is clear that Sinbadass was the second LaytonFairy.

In unrelated news, we put away the death cake we are now selling yummy Sinbad Death Cake, along with less yummy Mayday Death Cake- make sure to check into your local retailers to find our adequately priced Sinbad/Mayday Death Cake for $30 (due to inflation), or £10 if you are British.

Further down our agenda, we found the body of Mercutio inside City Center. According to eyewitness reports,(s)he had caught on fire spontaneously after walking outside our office building - we claim no guilt in this matter. Despite various burns around the victim's body, we discovered that Mercutio had once been a Vanilla Townie - but since nobody has ever heard of her, we did not commission yummy Death Cake for Mercutio.

Finally, we also discovered the body of SheenAT inside the office block of CR News At Eleven - he had been caught inside a mysterious indoor storm and was found scratching one of the doors, requesting brains. He was scratching on the door of the office Paladin, Kagami, who proceeded to open the door and Smite Sheen, in the defence that he was apparently Lawful Evil and undead. The office Necromancer/Warlock Sir Allan Aokage denies involvement, but the fact that he has a flag saying "I killed SheenAT, the Vanilla Mafioso and I feel fine~" on the back wall of his office begs to differ. He is also eating Sheen Death Cake, so we are made to draw our own conclusions on this.

Disturbingly, a letter was delivered to us this morning regarding the deaths of Mercutio and SheenAT was given to us this morning.

"We are not pleased by the lack of presence given by these two players, therefore they have met untimely ends.
~The True Game Masters"

Whoever sent us this letter is clearly insane and should be avoided at all costs.

Nevertheless, I must reqest that all players stay as vigilant as ever - the spontaneous lightning brick that appeared over Sir Tails head last night may be a warning to us all to be careful in what happens in this City - strike down your enemies and hope for the best, I always say - or at least, it's what I'm preaching now, brother.

We have also discovered that a resounding number of people voted in on our "Pimp Hat For Official Mafia City Headwear" poll, with a great number of people wanting to sponsor it. As such, look around for the Pimp Hat stalls set up around Town - buy yours today!

And now to Mid-Boss on "Why Mid-Boss Is Awesome And You Should Listen To Him".