Day 5 - Apocalypse Now?

The Ord Eel is a creature which is so stupid, it lacks the gills needed to survive in the salt water it is born in - it dies three seconds after birth. Due to this, it manages to avoid us asking the question of how the hell the species exists. By sharing this information with you, thou might be able to realise that I consider you all on the same level as the Ord Eel. Thus is the love of the GM, ever present and constant.

The person who wrote the above statement has been killed with a herring. Please ignore them.

Now, in current news, we found the body of Mid-Boss today. He had been impaled through the chest with a parasol; due to this, we can conclude that he is dead and that he was killed by a crazy redhead. As it was Mid-Boss who died, we decided to kick his corpse into a river and leave it at that, because it's Mid-Boss, nobody cares and there won't be a funereal. Rather, we'll laugh for ten minutes then have a cup of tea, followed by changing the name of his show ("Why Mid-Boss Is Awesome And You Should Listen To Him") to "Why Don Serrot Is Awesome And You Should Listen To Him". It will promise the same thrills as the last season.

We were also informed of another body found in Expose Park, found face down in the dust with a rapier in his back, leading us to conclude either his attacker was a no good rogue who snuck up on his opponents from the back or he had attempted to follow in his swordsman brother's footsteps and forgot that you never, ever turn your back on your opponent.

As someone in the police department was rather upset with the handling of Mid-Boss's body earlier they insisted on giving itsaqua an autopsy. They've informed us he died of a heart attack rather then the rapier wound, and judging from the recorder and digital camera in his backpack he appears to be the City's favourite eavesdropper, WhiteElephant.

I could you some encouraging advice, but I won't. So keep doing whatever it is you think you're doing.

~Written by the British Scott Ramsooair~