It is not a usual occurrence in Mafia City to see the likes of Boss Velotix and FerdieLance lounging around Town Center, but that's what was happening today. Apparently mostly nonplussed by their enemies sitting around and chatting, things proceeded relatively smoothly as the Town discussed whether or not the duo were in possession of a Wall of Fingerprinting Powder or not and the two in question mocked the users every so often. Although you wouldn't think it judging from appearances, Fingerprinting Powder is actually very effective in warding off death. I personally suspect this is because having it thrown into your eyes distracts you long enough for your target to escape, but if you listen to the Cult of Pie it actually has very strong magical properties. Not that we'd suggest listening to the Cult of Pie.
Anyway, it was eventually decided that playing the dangerous game of deadlock in an attempt to dispose their enemies of this evidence would be put off until another day, as per most things in this City. As this decision was being reached one Phoenix_Apollo suggested they go for Aoshia. With Boss Vahlia's encouragement the annoyed user was quickly put on Death Row. Deciding that against a flock of sheep like this, defending himself would be futile, Aoshia claimed he was the quiet musician MercuryKitten and went to go wait until the end of the day, and his life, at the Concert Hall. As the clock struck the hour, citizens forced open the doors of the Concert Hall to reveal that Aoshia aka MercuryKitten, of Team Aoshi, was leaning over her grand piano, dead.
On the other side of the City, Sakuro looked up from doing her nails and realized she hadn't seen Endless Blasphemy in a while. Looking through the files she realized Comfortably Numb had been found dead but had so far been unidentified as a user from the City. Sounding mildly surprised the cause of death hadn't been lightning bolt for once, Sakuro identified her as Endless Blasphemy and fixed the records. Of course, she's still dead, but it's nice to know someone remembered who you were, right?
Another puzzle solved, the citizens of the Town headed out of Town Center. Mostly. All the free food's gone, you know, you really should leave. Shoo!
Thursday, April 30
Tuesday, April 28
Day 5 - Apocalypse Now?
The Ord Eel is a creature which is so stupid, it lacks the gills needed to survive in the salt water it is born in - it dies three seconds after birth. Due to this, it manages to avoid us asking the question of how the hell the species exists. By sharing this information with you, thou might be able to realise that I consider you all on the same level as the Ord Eel. Thus is the love of the GM, ever present and constant.
The person who wrote the above statement has been killed with a herring. Please ignore them.
Now, in current news, we found the body of Mid-Boss today. He had been impaled through the chest with a parasol; due to this, we can conclude that he is dead and that he was killed by a crazy redhead. As it was Mid-Boss who died, we decided to kick his corpse into a river and leave it at that, because it's Mid-Boss, nobody cares and there won't be a funereal. Rather, we'll laugh for ten minutes then have a cup of tea, followed by changing the name of his show ("Why Mid-Boss Is Awesome And You Should Listen To Him") to "Why Don Serrot Is Awesome And You Should Listen To Him". It will promise the same thrills as the last season.
We were also informed of another body found in Expose Park, found face down in the dust with a rapier in his back, leading us to conclude either his attacker was a no good rogue who snuck up on his opponents from the back or he had attempted to follow in his swordsman brother's footsteps and forgot that you never, ever turn your back on your opponent.
As someone in the police department was rather upset with the handling of Mid-Boss's body earlier they insisted on giving itsaqua an autopsy. They've informed us he died of a heart attack rather then the rapier wound, and judging from the recorder and digital camera in his backpack he appears to be the City's favourite eavesdropper, WhiteElephant.
I could you some encouraging advice, but I won't. So keep doing whatever it is you think you're doing.
~Written by the British Scott Ramsooair~
The person who wrote the above statement has been killed with a herring. Please ignore them.
Now, in current news, we found the body of Mid-Boss today. He had been impaled through the chest with a parasol; due to this, we can conclude that he is dead and that he was killed by a crazy redhead. As it was Mid-Boss who died, we decided to kick his corpse into a river and leave it at that, because it's Mid-Boss, nobody cares and there won't be a funereal. Rather, we'll laugh for ten minutes then have a cup of tea, followed by changing the name of his show ("Why Mid-Boss Is Awesome And You Should Listen To Him") to "Why Don Serrot Is Awesome And You Should Listen To Him". It will promise the same thrills as the last season.
We were also informed of another body found in Expose Park, found face down in the dust with a rapier in his back, leading us to conclude either his attacker was a no good rogue who snuck up on his opponents from the back or he had attempted to follow in his swordsman brother's footsteps and forgot that you never, ever turn your back on your opponent.
As someone in the police department was rather upset with the handling of Mid-Boss's body earlier they insisted on giving itsaqua an autopsy. They've informed us he died of a heart attack rather then the rapier wound, and judging from the recorder and digital camera in his backpack he appears to be the City's favourite eavesdropper, WhiteElephant.
I could you some encouraging advice, but I won't. So keep doing whatever it is you think you're doing.
~Written by the British Scott Ramsooair~
Monday, April 27
Night 4 - Something Completely Not Really Different
Today Mafia City was relatively quiet- it seems no one was particularly concerned with the death of ComfortablyNumb, aside from redundently wondering who she was and where she came from. Later in the day NaturallyLazy reappeared among their ranks, smiling secretively whenever anyone tried to question her how and where she had dissapeared to the Day before. Whatever business "FerdieLance" had to do, he must have taken care of it while the City slept- not a particularly comforting thought...
For the remainder of the day, as votes predictably started piling up again on the predictable target, there were tea parties and some discussion of a second lynch in case Sakuro decided to save their targets life. This didn't seem particularly interesting however, so instead of paying attention to this I wandered off and did some shopping, which was a much better use of my time.
At any rate as the sun went down, the citizens of the city advanced on NaturallyLazy, hoping that this time their would be no dazzling escape.
However, we all know nothing in this City is ever quite that easy~!
As the Day's timer ran out, Magical Girl Mafioso Sakuro! appeared on stage with a flash of light, accompianed by new assistant, NaturallyLazy. For her first trick, she pulled a rubber duck out of her hat. Since this didn't seem to amuse the Town very much (besides, isn't it supposed to be a bunny or something that the magician pulls out of the hat?) she decided to make someone in the crowd dissapear instead~! After dragging Kinokiita on stage, putting her in a box, and adding a few minutes of lighting effects, she opened the box to reveal... it was empty!
Search parties being dispatched to look for Kinokiita neglected to realize that NaturallyLazy had dissapeared as well, and the crowd grew restless (as Magical Girl Mafioso Sakuro had decided she'd better go look for Kino as well or risk being hit with a pre-calculus book to the face when the others did find her) because they seemed to be now lacking anyone to kill.
Recalling their earlier discussions, attention turned to DahliaxKristoph, who was found quietly singing to herself on a bench to the side of Town Center, entirely unconcerned with the citizens advancing on her. When one dared to grab her arm, jolting her out of her day dreams, she whipped a rifle out of nowhere and knocked out her aggresor with it. Naturally this drew the rest of the Town's attention as she struggled for an excuse for hitting someone with a rifle.
...but in Mafia City, there really isn't an excuse for hitting someone with a rifle, unless your name is Boss Velotix. Adding to the strangeness of the evening, the red head bolted under the Town's gaze, whipping out her cell phone and yelling angrily at someone on the other side. A few minutes later yet another helicopter descended into Town Center, and yet another dazzling escape was pulled off instead of a dramatic lynching as DahliaxKristoph floated off via helicopter like one of her razor-winged butterflies.
Really, members of the Town muttered to themselves as they headed to their destination of the Night, this is getting kind of ridiculous.
For the remainder of the day, as votes predictably started piling up again on the predictable target, there were tea parties and some discussion of a second lynch in case Sakuro decided to save their targets life. This didn't seem particularly interesting however, so instead of paying attention to this I wandered off and did some shopping, which was a much better use of my time.
At any rate as the sun went down, the citizens of the city advanced on NaturallyLazy, hoping that this time their would be no dazzling escape.
However, we all know nothing in this City is ever quite that easy~!
As the Day's timer ran out, Magical Girl Mafioso Sakuro! appeared on stage with a flash of light, accompianed by new assistant, NaturallyLazy. For her first trick, she pulled a rubber duck out of her hat. Since this didn't seem to amuse the Town very much (besides, isn't it supposed to be a bunny or something that the magician pulls out of the hat?) she decided to make someone in the crowd dissapear instead~! After dragging Kinokiita on stage, putting her in a box, and adding a few minutes of lighting effects, she opened the box to reveal... it was empty!
Search parties being dispatched to look for Kinokiita neglected to realize that NaturallyLazy had dissapeared as well, and the crowd grew restless (as Magical Girl Mafioso Sakuro had decided she'd better go look for Kino as well or risk being hit with a pre-calculus book to the face when the others did find her) because they seemed to be now lacking anyone to kill.
Recalling their earlier discussions, attention turned to DahliaxKristoph, who was found quietly singing to herself on a bench to the side of Town Center, entirely unconcerned with the citizens advancing on her. When one dared to grab her arm, jolting her out of her day dreams, she whipped a rifle out of nowhere and knocked out her aggresor with it. Naturally this drew the rest of the Town's attention as she struggled for an excuse for hitting someone with a rifle.
...but in Mafia City, there really isn't an excuse for hitting someone with a rifle, unless your name is Boss Velotix. Adding to the strangeness of the evening, the red head bolted under the Town's gaze, whipping out her cell phone and yelling angrily at someone on the other side. A few minutes later yet another helicopter descended into Town Center, and yet another dazzling escape was pulled off instead of a dramatic lynching as DahliaxKristoph floated off via helicopter like one of her razor-winged butterflies.
Really, members of the Town muttered to themselves as they headed to their destination of the Night, this is getting kind of ridiculous.
Sunday, April 26
Day The Fourth - Tired GM
It seems that this Town has something of an inverse domino theory going on - you start on four, then knock it down a peg into two and today, only one body was found. While each death is touching and sad (with the exceptions of Daan and Cracker who's entrails are currently being scraped out of the Blender), we must do our best to persevere through this tough times. Like paying severly inflated Death Cake at a local store near you.
Now, we decided to take a trip down to the Hospital this morning. We heard about a fight between the Death Note and some Camera Data on the way - and as a mostly respectable news station, we will not share it with you, mainly because we are almost entirely sure that the woman who gave us the news was one of Dr. Zakeri's patients and thus unreliable and untrustworthy. If you join us at 6PM yesterday, we will give you the full story.
By the time we had given said women (this being Aoshi) a swift boot out of the car at twenty-five miles an hour less then fifty miles, we noticed that one Comfortably Numb's deceased carcass hanging out of one of the window's on the second floor. Given some time (and a Rocket Launcher), the body came off the roof, revealing a letter from "The Great GMs In The Sky" and a note from DxK. When we noticed that she was not a resident of Mafia City (or at least, her corpse and no distinguishing features), we decided to use both letters - and her corpse- as kindling to keep ourselves warm while we waited for the medical eyeliner Velo so desperately needed. After we passed several snide comments about her face, of course.
And today, with the death of Comfortably Numb, the Chickenfucker, everyone in Mafia City can (and presumably will) own a Death Chicken. The may or may not be surgically fused with your spine.
And now we go to the court case of "Chaos vs. Order". Below at some quotes.
"Frog wizzle pop wiggley caterpillar doom chrysallis foooooooooom" - Chaos
"001100 110011 101010 000111 100001 001100" - Order
Now, we decided to take a trip down to the Hospital this morning. We heard about a fight between the Death Note and some Camera Data on the way - and as a mostly respectable news station, we will not share it with you, mainly because we are almost entirely sure that the woman who gave us the news was one of Dr. Zakeri's patients and thus unreliable and untrustworthy. If you join us at 6PM yesterday, we will give you the full story.
By the time we had given said women (this being Aoshi) a swift boot out of the car at twenty-five miles an hour less then fifty miles, we noticed that one Comfortably Numb's deceased carcass hanging out of one of the window's on the second floor. Given some time (and a Rocket Launcher), the body came off the roof, revealing a letter from "The Great GMs In The Sky" and a note from DxK. When we noticed that she was not a resident of Mafia City (or at least, her corpse and no distinguishing features), we decided to use both letters - and her corpse- as kindling to keep ourselves warm while we waited for the medical eyeliner Velo so desperately needed. After we passed several snide comments about her face, of course.
And today, with the death of Comfortably Numb, the Chickenfucker, everyone in Mafia City can (and presumably will) own a Death Chicken. The may or may not be surgically fused with your spine.
And now we go to the court case of "Chaos vs. Order". Below at some quotes.
"Frog wizzle pop wiggley caterpillar doom chrysallis foooooooooom" - Chaos
"001100 110011 101010 000111 100001 001100" - Order
Friday, April 24
Night 3 - A Great Escape
Citizens today seemed to have tried to think out of the box for once, rather then going after their previous suspicions or follow the lead of someone else.
...nah, just kidding. About halfway through the day one DahliaXKristoph took the stage of Town Center, waving around some pieces of paper and a hair straightener, for some reason. Apparently she had concluded from these two things that lukegb and NaturallyLazy should be their targets today. However, the user known as lukegb has since dissapeared from the streets of the City (or at least from our hidden cameras- er, I mean, hidden cameras? Nonsense!) And as such our one track Town turned their votes of rage upon NaturallyLazy, who seemed to take it all quite in stride, claiming that her name was actually FerdieLance and handing out business cards to people in the crowd, which most people decided would be better as paper airplanes. (I'm not picking up all of those, you hear me!?)
Anyway, as the shadows grew and the day came to an end, the Town grew more restless, waiting for when "Nat de Lance" would be killed and their suspicions confirmed, or something. And indeed, their unfortunate target drew her sword and prepared to go out a la LaytonFairy (as some have claimed LaytonFairy was a rogue clone of FerdieLance- which is silly, because if anything he was obviously a rogue clone of Regy Rusty.) but after pausing to think, put her rapier away and turned to the players next to her, hands up with an odd little smirk.
"Oh well. At least I tried, right~?" She said. The townies in front of her briefly glanced at each other in confusion, but were about to take away her sword and take her to jail anyway when an rather unusual noise filled Town Center. It was the sound of a helicopter. Hovering, in fact, right over the square and descending. Members of the city scattered out of the way as a rope was thrown down to ground level, winds pummeling anyone who tried to prevent NaturallyLazy from fighting her own way to the rope and grabbing on. As she was lifted into the air and far away from the Town's grasp, she called out "BETTER LUCK NEXT DAY PHASE?" to the utterly confused crowd below and laughed rather maniacally as she dissapeared from sight.
As citizens scattered in an attempt to find Nat (or for some of the more less motivated ones, shrugging it off and head towards their chosen shelter for the night, claiming they'd think about it more tomorrow), one question was on most of the City's mind; what on earth had happened? It's common knowledge that Boss Velotix is generally in charge of the City's aircraft, but so far he has declined to comment on the issue, yelling something about not being able to find his goddamn eyeliner whenever anyone has tried to ask.
...nah, just kidding. About halfway through the day one DahliaXKristoph took the stage of Town Center, waving around some pieces of paper and a hair straightener, for some reason. Apparently she had concluded from these two things that lukegb and NaturallyLazy should be their targets today. However, the user known as lukegb has since dissapeared from the streets of the City (or at least from our hidden cameras- er, I mean, hidden cameras? Nonsense!) And as such our one track Town turned their votes of rage upon NaturallyLazy, who seemed to take it all quite in stride, claiming that her name was actually FerdieLance and handing out business cards to people in the crowd, which most people decided would be better as paper airplanes. (I'm not picking up all of those, you hear me!?)
Anyway, as the shadows grew and the day came to an end, the Town grew more restless, waiting for when "Nat de Lance" would be killed and their suspicions confirmed, or something. And indeed, their unfortunate target drew her sword and prepared to go out a la LaytonFairy (as some have claimed LaytonFairy was a rogue clone of FerdieLance- which is silly, because if anything he was obviously a rogue clone of Regy Rusty.) but after pausing to think, put her rapier away and turned to the players next to her, hands up with an odd little smirk.
"Oh well. At least I tried, right~?" She said. The townies in front of her briefly glanced at each other in confusion, but were about to take away her sword and take her to jail anyway when an rather unusual noise filled Town Center. It was the sound of a helicopter. Hovering, in fact, right over the square and descending. Members of the city scattered out of the way as a rope was thrown down to ground level, winds pummeling anyone who tried to prevent NaturallyLazy from fighting her own way to the rope and grabbing on. As she was lifted into the air and far away from the Town's grasp, she called out "BETTER LUCK NEXT DAY PHASE?" to the utterly confused crowd below and laughed rather maniacally as she dissapeared from sight.
As citizens scattered in an attempt to find Nat (or for some of the more less motivated ones, shrugging it off and head towards their chosen shelter for the night, claiming they'd think about it more tomorrow), one question was on most of the City's mind; what on earth had happened? It's common knowledge that Boss Velotix is generally in charge of the City's aircraft, but so far he has declined to comment on the issue, yelling something about not being able to find his goddamn eyeliner whenever anyone has tried to ask.
Wednesday, April 22
Day III - The Day Of Regand
You people have no concept of the dominoes. I mean, on one night you decide to hunt down an wipe out four of your own to whittle down the suspects (or, at least, that is what we at CR News At Eleven believe you killed them for) and tonight? You barely dent the population of Townies in the name of the Town; I, for one, am disgusted by this lack of bloodshed.
Now then, I would like to give you the results of the deaths; we found a body in the Imperial Hotel this morning - this in itself was nothing out of the ordinary. It was no so much the body was the things around the body - a little message written in the victim's blood had been left on the wall; "Enjoy your present~ DxK" - our staff imagines this means DahliaXKristoph has left us cake somewhere in the Hotel. A search is being done to find it.
Going back to the body, a bloody marimba was found by their side - it is currently suspected that the killer shot the victim in the spine, before snatching the Marimba from his hands and bludgeoning him with it - OMG Cracker died as he lived; a Honourable Englishman.
Since we have confirmed beyond reasonable doubt that OMG Cracker is dead (by putting his body through the Mafia City Giant Blender), we intend to have a state funereal. Except not really, since we'd spend our time giggling at him. As this defeats the point, we're going to dump the remains of his corpse into the graveyard and leave them there.
Since you people were boring enough to only kill one person, I believe now would be the time to review the events of ten years ago; the true Day Of Regand... We now cut to a video of Regand Reginald Royf Rusty destroying the world. Over to you, Kagami.
Now then, I would like to give you the results of the deaths; we found a body in the Imperial Hotel this morning - this in itself was nothing out of the ordinary. It was no so much the body was the things around the body - a little message written in the victim's blood had been left on the wall; "Enjoy your present~ DxK" - our staff imagines this means DahliaXKristoph has left us cake somewhere in the Hotel. A search is being done to find it.
Going back to the body, a bloody marimba was found by their side - it is currently suspected that the killer shot the victim in the spine, before snatching the Marimba from his hands and bludgeoning him with it - OMG Cracker died as he lived; a Honourable Englishman.
Since we have confirmed beyond reasonable doubt that OMG Cracker is dead (by putting his body through the Mafia City Giant Blender), we intend to have a state funereal. Except not really, since we'd spend our time giggling at him. As this defeats the point, we're going to dump the remains of his corpse into the graveyard and leave them there.
Since you people were boring enough to only kill one person, I believe now would be the time to review the events of ten years ago; the true Day Of Regand... We now cut to a video of Regand Reginald Royf Rusty destroying the world. Over to you, Kagami.
Tuesday, April 21
Night 2 - Ice Cream, ADD and Death Cake, oh my.
Today in Mafia City, we had the citizens of the town switching around between six or so lynch targets like they were debating over what flavor of ice cream to get at the store, rather then selecting one of their fellows to die. Accusations flew between mid-bosses, prinnies, crackers and more, eventually settling one one Powerdaan.
Despite his best efforts to convince the crowd of... um, something else besides lynching him (*a whisper is heard from off stage* "What? I was supposed to find out exactly what? ...WELL YOU COULD HAVE DONE IT TOO! ;0;") the votes on the tally ended up piling up on the unfortunate citizen, although not everyone seemed pleased with this result, in which case maybe they should have spent less time arguing over what kind of ice cream they wanted and tried to get someone else lynched.
Anyway, Powerdaan was dragged kicking and screaming to the center of the square, where he was supposed to be killed via sword fight to the death (or Rocket Launcher to the face, since everyone knows those are the two coolest ways to die) when a caped fellow with a chainsaw katana came out of nowhere and killed him in one fell swoop, and nearly injured several onlookers and this fabulous reporter as well before escaping as quickly as he appeared. The authorities have been notified and will continue looking for this dangerous rogue user, but in the meantime we've learned that Powerdaan was simply a Honorable Citizen/Vanilla Townie.
Now go buy some delicious Daan-Death Cake, since everyone knows that's better then ice cream anyway. And as always, be careful where you go in the City...
Despite his best efforts to convince the crowd of... um, something else besides lynching him (*a whisper is heard from off stage* "What? I was supposed to find out exactly what? ...WELL YOU COULD HAVE DONE IT TOO! ;0;") the votes on the tally ended up piling up on the unfortunate citizen, although not everyone seemed pleased with this result, in which case maybe they should have spent less time arguing over what kind of ice cream they wanted and tried to get someone else lynched.
Anyway, Powerdaan was dragged kicking and screaming to the center of the square, where he was supposed to be killed via sword fight to the death (or Rocket Launcher to the face, since everyone knows those are the two coolest ways to die) when a caped fellow with a chainsaw katana came out of nowhere and killed him in one fell swoop, and nearly injured several onlookers and this fabulous reporter as well before escaping as quickly as he appeared. The authorities have been notified and will continue looking for this dangerous rogue user, but in the meantime we've learned that Powerdaan was simply a Honorable Citizen/Vanilla Townie.
Now go buy some delicious Daan-Death Cake, since everyone knows that's better then ice cream anyway. And as always, be careful where you go in the City...
Sunday, April 19
Day The Second - Smite Justice!
I thank you all for tuning in, once again, to CR News At Eleven. Now, today's top story is how Regy Rusty attained his marvellous swordfighting skills - so we aren't going to be showing that to you. Instead, we will look at the recent murders around the city.
First of all, a body was found at the Hospital this morning. Apparently, four people were brought to the Hospital to update their prescriptions - of the four, three of them left, seemingly satisfied with the medical marijuana packed into their pockets. The fourth did not receive any such marijuana - the body of Mayday was found this morning, with a note in her pocket.
"The heat of Egypt compells you to die in the name of the great Boss Velotix, Overlord of Mafia City!"
The meaning of the note is unclear to us at this time; a pistol found on Mayday's ankle is a clear sign that she was, in fact, a Vanilla Mafioso. Furthermore, evidence has come to light that the corrupt doctor Zakeri was the person who called the other patients to the hospital - for your safety, it is recommended that you stay away from the Doctor at all costs. We have also discovered that the needle was tipped with Plague of Locusts. We are not sure what this means at the present time.
In addition, it appears that Sir Sinbad has made a complete recovery from being hit with a goddamn rocket launcher. Several people at the office have requested that we change Sir Sinbad's name into Sinbadass - I approve of this name. Sinbadass has been admitted out of the hospital and we recommend that he is congratulated for being so brave at a time when he was hit by a rocket launcher. However, as he stepped outside of the Hospital, a bolt of lighting swooped down and turned him into ashes - Sinbadass, who survived a rocket launcher to the face, was killed by a bolt of lightning. The police investigators found a letter on his charred remains - it was from the LaytonFairy, welcoming him to Team Aoshi - it is clear that Sinbadass was the second LaytonFairy.
In unrelated news, we put away the death cake we are now selling yummy Sinbad Death Cake, along with less yummy Mayday Death Cake- make sure to check into your local retailers to find our adequately priced Sinbad/Mayday Death Cake for $30 (due to inflation), or £10 if you are British.
Further down our agenda, we found the body of Mercutio inside City Center. According to eyewitness reports,(s)he had caught on fire spontaneously after walking outside our office building - we claim no guilt in this matter. Despite various burns around the victim's body, we discovered that Mercutio had once been a Vanilla Townie - but since nobody has ever heard of her, we did not commission yummy Death Cake for Mercutio.
Finally, we also discovered the body of SheenAT inside the office block of CR News At Eleven - he had been caught inside a mysterious indoor storm and was found scratching one of the doors, requesting brains. He was scratching on the door of the office Paladin, Kagami, who proceeded to open the door and Smite Sheen, in the defence that he was apparently Lawful Evil and undead. The office Necromancer/Warlock Sir Allan Aokage denies involvement, but the fact that he has a flag saying "I killed SheenAT, the Vanilla Mafioso and I feel fine~" on the back wall of his office begs to differ. He is also eating Sheen Death Cake, so we are made to draw our own conclusions on this.
Disturbingly, a letter was delivered to us this morning regarding the deaths of Mercutio and SheenAT was given to us this morning.
"We are not pleased by the lack of presence given by these two players, therefore they have met untimely ends.
~The True Game Masters"
Whoever sent us this letter is clearly insane and should be avoided at all costs.
Nevertheless, I must reqest that all players stay as vigilant as ever - the spontaneous lightning brick that appeared over Sir Tails head last night may be a warning to us all to be careful in what happens in this City - strike down your enemies and hope for the best, I always say - or at least, it's what I'm preaching now, brother.
We have also discovered that a resounding number of people voted in on our "Pimp Hat For Official Mafia City Headwear" poll, with a great number of people wanting to sponsor it. As such, look around for the Pimp Hat stalls set up around Town - buy yours today!
And now to Mid-Boss on "Why Mid-Boss Is Awesome And You Should Listen To Him".
First of all, a body was found at the Hospital this morning. Apparently, four people were brought to the Hospital to update their prescriptions - of the four, three of them left, seemingly satisfied with the medical marijuana packed into their pockets. The fourth did not receive any such marijuana - the body of Mayday was found this morning, with a note in her pocket.
"The heat of Egypt compells you to die in the name of the great Boss Velotix, Overlord of Mafia City!"
The meaning of the note is unclear to us at this time; a pistol found on Mayday's ankle is a clear sign that she was, in fact, a Vanilla Mafioso. Furthermore, evidence has come to light that the corrupt doctor Zakeri was the person who called the other patients to the hospital - for your safety, it is recommended that you stay away from the Doctor at all costs. We have also discovered that the needle was tipped with Plague of Locusts. We are not sure what this means at the present time.
In addition, it appears that Sir Sinbad has made a complete recovery from being hit with a goddamn rocket launcher. Several people at the office have requested that we change Sir Sinbad's name into Sinbadass - I approve of this name. Sinbadass has been admitted out of the hospital and we recommend that he is congratulated for being so brave at a time when he was hit by a rocket launcher. However, as he stepped outside of the Hospital, a bolt of lighting swooped down and turned him into ashes - Sinbadass, who survived a rocket launcher to the face, was killed by a bolt of lightning. The police investigators found a letter on his charred remains - it was from the LaytonFairy, welcoming him to Team Aoshi - it is clear that Sinbadass was the second LaytonFairy.
In unrelated news, we put away the death cake we are now selling yummy Sinbad Death Cake, along with less yummy Mayday Death Cake- make sure to check into your local retailers to find our adequately priced Sinbad/Mayday Death Cake for $30 (due to inflation), or £10 if you are British.
Further down our agenda, we found the body of Mercutio inside City Center. According to eyewitness reports,(s)he had caught on fire spontaneously after walking outside our office building - we claim no guilt in this matter. Despite various burns around the victim's body, we discovered that Mercutio had once been a Vanilla Townie - but since nobody has ever heard of her, we did not commission yummy Death Cake for Mercutio.
Finally, we also discovered the body of SheenAT inside the office block of CR News At Eleven - he had been caught inside a mysterious indoor storm and was found scratching one of the doors, requesting brains. He was scratching on the door of the office Paladin, Kagami, who proceeded to open the door and Smite Sheen, in the defence that he was apparently Lawful Evil and undead. The office Necromancer/Warlock Sir Allan Aokage denies involvement, but the fact that he has a flag saying "I killed SheenAT, the Vanilla Mafioso and I feel fine~" on the back wall of his office begs to differ. He is also eating Sheen Death Cake, so we are made to draw our own conclusions on this.
Disturbingly, a letter was delivered to us this morning regarding the deaths of Mercutio and SheenAT was given to us this morning.
"We are not pleased by the lack of presence given by these two players, therefore they have met untimely ends.
~The True Game Masters"
Whoever sent us this letter is clearly insane and should be avoided at all costs.
Nevertheless, I must reqest that all players stay as vigilant as ever - the spontaneous lightning brick that appeared over Sir Tails head last night may be a warning to us all to be careful in what happens in this City - strike down your enemies and hope for the best, I always say - or at least, it's what I'm preaching now, brother.
We have also discovered that a resounding number of people voted in on our "Pimp Hat For Official Mafia City Headwear" poll, with a great number of people wanting to sponsor it. As such, look around for the Pimp Hat stalls set up around Town - buy yours today!
And now to Mid-Boss on "Why Mid-Boss Is Awesome And You Should Listen To Him".
Saturday, April 18
Night 1 - Ready to die?
Just when you think you've seen it all in this City...
Today there was an almost immediate accusation against Zilla, who was apparently LaytonFairy of Team Aoshi! With the case against him, the once enigmatic figure didn't even try to defend himself with words, but instead stood in Town Center all day long trying to convince others to spare him in exchange for his factions help- after all, both Team Aoshi and the Town wanted to rid the City of the Mafia, right? With the complex web of loyalties in the city at this point in time, there was fierce debate over whether to spare the cunning trickster his life and cooperate for a time, or to end his life as quickly as possible.
Ultimately the latter idea won out, and as the day drew to a close, the vote tally being displayed showing clearly who would be the Town's victim, the fairy drew his sword and challenged everyone, anyone, to try to kill him, rather then face the gallows. The square grew quiet for the first time all day, as users stopped to wonder who would be able to subdue the rogue- after all, it was widely thought of that someone like LaytonFairy must be legendary at the art of swordfighting.
After a few moments, one Mid-Boss standing in the crowd drew his sword and answered the fairy's challenge, and so commenced a duel that would have made even Regy Rusty and FerdieLance jealous in it's intensity and display of skill. Eventually, LaytonFairy proved no match and found his opponents sword at his throat. Smirking, and knowing he was defeated, he dropped his sword, and was run through the heart just as the sun set.
Apparently someone was convinced by his tirades in the square all day, however, because just as this was happening, a figure in the crowd left and slipped off to the Hospital... Although Zilla, otherwise known as LaytonFairy, is dead, his dying wish has been honored, and one more member has been added to Team Aoshi.
The day done, the citizens of the City started looking warily around at shadows and people that who had looked relatively safe during the day, but now in the Night, looked foreboding and dangerous. Most decided to leave Town Center and head for different, perhaps safer, havens. For now is when the blood really starts to run...
Today there was an almost immediate accusation against Zilla, who was apparently LaytonFairy of Team Aoshi! With the case against him, the once enigmatic figure didn't even try to defend himself with words, but instead stood in Town Center all day long trying to convince others to spare him in exchange for his factions help- after all, both Team Aoshi and the Town wanted to rid the City of the Mafia, right? With the complex web of loyalties in the city at this point in time, there was fierce debate over whether to spare the cunning trickster his life and cooperate for a time, or to end his life as quickly as possible.
Ultimately the latter idea won out, and as the day drew to a close, the vote tally being displayed showing clearly who would be the Town's victim, the fairy drew his sword and challenged everyone, anyone, to try to kill him, rather then face the gallows. The square grew quiet for the first time all day, as users stopped to wonder who would be able to subdue the rogue- after all, it was widely thought of that someone like LaytonFairy must be legendary at the art of swordfighting.
After a few moments, one Mid-Boss standing in the crowd drew his sword and answered the fairy's challenge, and so commenced a duel that would have made even Regy Rusty and FerdieLance jealous in it's intensity and display of skill. Eventually, LaytonFairy proved no match and found his opponents sword at his throat. Smirking, and knowing he was defeated, he dropped his sword, and was run through the heart just as the sun set.
Apparently someone was convinced by his tirades in the square all day, however, because just as this was happening, a figure in the crowd left and slipped off to the Hospital... Although Zilla, otherwise known as LaytonFairy, is dead, his dying wish has been honored, and one more member has been added to Team Aoshi.
The day done, the citizens of the City started looking warily around at shadows and people that who had looked relatively safe during the day, but now in the Night, looked foreboding and dangerous. Most decided to leave Town Center and head for different, perhaps safer, havens. For now is when the blood really starts to run...
Thursday, April 16
Day One - Boredom Is In The Air
A fascinating display, truly a show of the competence that manifests itself within this city. From our looking point here, at the top of CRNews At Eleven's skyscraper, we have found that you have been sitting around, eating strips of meat instead of doing any real work. Mind you, some things have been happening that have been brought to our attention. For instance, we have found several video tapes on our doorstep - we have reviewed them and shown the relevant ones to you. The first video is marked "From E. Nygma" in handwriting that resembles that commonly used by the criminal LaytonFairy.
"Dearest News Anchor, I wish for you to deliver this message to the public. It appears that my prayers for a power have been answered - whenever I die, one of the Town or the Mafia's weakest combatants will have a change of heart and will be supporting us, the League of Aoshi, in our aims. They will see the light above the darkness that clouds Mafia City - they will join us in making this City a better place."
Truly, an omnious message for all. A second message was given to us, from an anonymous source.
"We would like to ask you to talk to us some more - you know our MSN/AIM addresses, add us!"
Clearly, from someone who's had too much cocaine. I would now like to go over to Regy, with the weather.
"Dearest News Anchor, I wish for you to deliver this message to the public. It appears that my prayers for a power have been answered - whenever I die, one of the Town or the Mafia's weakest combatants will have a change of heart and will be supporting us, the League of Aoshi, in our aims. They will see the light above the darkness that clouds Mafia City - they will join us in making this City a better place."
Truly, an omnious message for all. A second message was given to us, from an anonymous source.
"We would like to ask you to talk to us some more - you know our MSN/AIM addresses, add us!"
Clearly, from someone who's had too much cocaine. I would now like to go over to Regy, with the weather.
Wednesday, April 15
Night Zero - Part the Second
Before we begin, ladies and gentlemen, I ask you to open this and allow the video to load, play it when it's loaded and begin reading.
Now, assembled people, I have but a single request of you - play. As much as you want to survive, I ask of you that you do nothing of the sort; rush to your deaths with utmost haste - do not falter. For the good of your faction, it is imperative that you carry out your goals and then cease to function. Hunt out your enemies and crush them into the dust - rend their flesh into ribbons and use their bones as jewellery. Of course, I ask this of based on the fact that I know that you will all play this cruel little game of ours to the best of your ability - from Mid-Boss to Revolver Insho, I ask that everyone stay within the confines of Mafia City - as if the roadblocks would not stop you anyway. All of you know who you are, it's part of the challenge. The Queen is the most important piece - who knows what will happen when she is taken. Perhaps you will find yourself in the darkness, lost and alone.
Now then, the game begins now. Take advantage of this first Night, but stay in the City Centre until day breaks - nobody will be allowed out until then. I will enjoy watching you all, sheeple.
Night Zero - Part One
"Foolish Townies, idiotic Mafioso, heed the words of your master - a game has begun but I have no intention of losing it. You may squabble amongst yourselves, striving only to eliminate the other, but we hide in the shadows, waiting to strike."
This message was delivered to CRNews At Eleven this morning; judging by the signature stating "Written by Allan. A. Aokage, Magnificent Bastard", it was written by Allan A. Aokage, a member of one of the rogue elements of the Town who recently splintered off and became a wildcard among the members of denizens of Mafia City. He is not the only one - shortly after this happened, Doctor Aoshi of the Mafia poisoned the drink of Kagami, who at the time was the 'Queen' of Mafia City. Due to this, Aoshi and his known affiliates were forced to leave the Mafia, or so they say. Upon finding this out, one of the people who brought Mafia City together decided he would also join the fray, Boss Velotix. It is not known at this time were the splinter factions are - they must be driven out of their hiding placed and killed.
Since the people at this news station are officially neutral, we have decided to hand this over to one of our reporters, who will be replacing me as news anchor for the duration that this threat is around. There is a possibility that another news achor will come by, who can tell. And now, over to the new news anchor.
This message was delivered to CRNews At Eleven this morning; judging by the signature stating "Written by Allan. A. Aokage, Magnificent Bastard", it was written by Allan A. Aokage, a member of one of the rogue elements of the Town who recently splintered off and became a wildcard among the members of denizens of Mafia City. He is not the only one - shortly after this happened, Doctor Aoshi of the Mafia poisoned the drink of Kagami, who at the time was the 'Queen' of Mafia City. Due to this, Aoshi and his known affiliates were forced to leave the Mafia, or so they say. Upon finding this out, one of the people who brought Mafia City together decided he would also join the fray, Boss Velotix. It is not known at this time were the splinter factions are - they must be driven out of their hiding placed and killed.
Since the people at this news station are officially neutral, we have decided to hand this over to one of our reporters, who will be replacing me as news anchor for the duration that this threat is around. There is a possibility that another news achor will come by, who can tell. And now, over to the new news anchor.
Monday, April 13
Pregame; Tension in the Air~
With the recent murders of Kagami and Ghaleon von Karma, Mafia City has been thrown into an all out war that many saw coming, but no one could stop. Each group within the City has finally given justification for all out war on everyone else, and they fight not merely for revenge on how the recent deaths have affected them but for grudges built up over time as well. Alliances forged between individual people have come into play; players and Game Masters alike have set out to rule the City themselves, destroying everyone in their way. Due to outside conflict and previous loyalties the Game Masters have found themselves divided and the players, quarreling over methods of revenge and the “just” way to achieve their goals, have been split as well. Even lacking the details of why this war has started now it is clear why it has started, looking back.
During the Users/Admins conflict, the Admins were defeated and their accounts erased from the database. There were whispers of someone finding a new area for the Users to dwell in; as time passed, a relatively new player, known as lukegb, soon founded a new domain for the Users to live in; content with this new area, they thanked him and took up residence there. As time passed, however, it was becoming apparent that the “game” they spent much of their time playing was becoming less of a game, as people took the game more and more seriously. The players started to resent the Game Masters for the power they held over their heads and occasionally abused- intentionally or not. Meanwhile the Game Masters were getting sick of having their creations wrecked by the “normal” players, and having to listen as they complained about their judgments and challenged their authority. Even as the split between Game Masters and players widened, the player base itself was becoming divided. There were those who were more willing to lie and kill to get their points across, and those who clung to their ideas of justice and peace. In effect they were now divided equally- there was the Town, and the Mafia, and then the Game Masters, split into three factions that, as their alliances were declared, gained their own nicknames.
There was Team VI, which consisted of former Game Master Boss Velotix and his Evidence Handler partner, Regy Rusty. Then Team Aoshi, which consisted of recent Game Master Aoshi and his Game Master partners, talented musician MercuryKitten and Dr. Zakeri. It was shortly determined that the people responsible for arranging the main catalysts of the war was the last team, Team Aokuro. They had managed to provoke all sides into an attack on the other, setting into motion something that was inevitable. Although how exactly it was their fault was unclear, so the other teams continued blaming their chosen enemies. This third Game Master team, headed by Allan's Aokage and Sakuro made themselves public as the forces of the Town (headed by Wondertwin OMG Cracker and WhiteElephant) and the Mafia (led by the 'innocent' DahliaXKristoph and manipulative genius FerdieLance) collided, each attempting to wipe out the other, while at the same time, eliminating the Game Masters. And thus we find ourselves in the present...
During the Users/Admins conflict, the Admins were defeated and their accounts erased from the database. There were whispers of someone finding a new area for the Users to dwell in; as time passed, a relatively new player, known as lukegb, soon founded a new domain for the Users to live in; content with this new area, they thanked him and took up residence there. As time passed, however, it was becoming apparent that the “game” they spent much of their time playing was becoming less of a game, as people took the game more and more seriously. The players started to resent the Game Masters for the power they held over their heads and occasionally abused- intentionally or not. Meanwhile the Game Masters were getting sick of having their creations wrecked by the “normal” players, and having to listen as they complained about their judgments and challenged their authority. Even as the split between Game Masters and players widened, the player base itself was becoming divided. There were those who were more willing to lie and kill to get their points across, and those who clung to their ideas of justice and peace. In effect they were now divided equally- there was the Town, and the Mafia, and then the Game Masters, split into three factions that, as their alliances were declared, gained their own nicknames.
There was Team VI, which consisted of former Game Master Boss Velotix and his Evidence Handler partner, Regy Rusty. Then Team Aoshi, which consisted of recent Game Master Aoshi and his Game Master partners, talented musician MercuryKitten and Dr. Zakeri. It was shortly determined that the people responsible for arranging the main catalysts of the war was the last team, Team Aokuro. They had managed to provoke all sides into an attack on the other, setting into motion something that was inevitable. Although how exactly it was their fault was unclear, so the other teams continued blaming their chosen enemies. This third Game Master team, headed by Allan's Aokage and Sakuro made themselves public as the forces of the Town (headed by Wondertwin OMG Cracker and WhiteElephant) and the Mafia (led by the 'innocent' DahliaXKristoph and manipulative genius FerdieLance) collided, each attempting to wipe out the other, while at the same time, eliminating the Game Masters. And thus we find ourselves in the present...
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