As if to announce the return of the scum that climbed out of the bottom of the pool, lightning hit buildings all over Mafia City. Mirrors all over the city soon found themselves shattered for no explicable reason - people cried it was an omen, but that is what the Saxons cried when they saw Halley's Comet; the fact they got fucked over by the Normans shortly after was a complete coincidence.
But what was not a coincidence was the fact that one DarknessLord was sitting in a comfortable leather chair, sipping some evil fluid that was almost exactly, but not quite, exactly unlike tea. He gave a witty remark on the texture of this substance before noticing that he appeared to feel his body growing cold - he noticed this as he felt his heart stop - DarknessLord has fallen victim to the wrath of Allan A. Aokage, Knight of Injustice - a small scrap of the Death Note found in the DarknessLord's mailbox said that he was a Vanilla Townie - it also stated "OOPS YOU CAN'T READ THIS, YOU'RE DEAD". I suspect that Sir Aokage is a colossal jackass and should be thrown into a fire for being a prick.
The investigators looked over the rest of the city - they apparently found the remains of Game Over, an exploded Prinny - there was something about him being a Vanilla Townie and having been thrown by DahliaXKristoph, which led to his death - but since he was a Prinny, I couldn't care less.
Incidentally, Mid-Boss rolled by for a chat this morning - the poor chap had lost his head; the tip-off was when I noticed he didn't have a chest - no, he lacked everything bar his head. After casting a Speak With Dead spell, he told me that he was a Vanilla Townie, and I threw his head out of the window - it's Mid-Boss, who cares?
And now we have a look at the fine line between insanity and brilliance - Regy Rusty is doing a handstand while reciting Pythagoras' Theorem, Allan is doing a (mimed) cartwheel on the insanity side and Saint Kagami the Paladin is currently saying "What the fuck" over and over again. We now go to Queen Kagami the Paladin.
"What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck..."
Monday, May 4
Sunday, May 3
Night 6 - No One Mourns the Inactive
Town Center was relatively quiet today, with several votes boredly thrown on DahliaXKristoph as she looked gravely on from her suite in the Imperial Hotel. Some debate on the suspicious activities (or lack thereof) of Endless Blasphemy was also discussed, but all and all it was a slow day. As the sun set and it drew to a close, Boss Vahlia, as she had taken to calling herself, entered the square and ascended the stage, pale and looking quite serious indeed as she faced the crowd. For a few moments, there was almost complete silence...
However, apparently a certain magical girl had different plans for how the evening would end.
Interrupting the SRS moment of SILENCE, Sakuro jumped onto the stage, startling the Game Master preparing to kill DahliaxKristoph and smiling widely as the crowd was thrown into an uproar. Sakuro, upon taking Dahlia's navy cape, twirled it around and shortly made DahliaXKristoph dissapear just as Kinokiita had a couple days before, before donning the cape and running off the stage, leaving as abruptly as she had appeared. This news reporter commends her speediness, as the citizens of the town were not pleased about Boss Vahlia being snatched out of their clutches.
In their anger, they went to storm the Golden Dragon hotel, supposedly where Endless Blasphemy had been staying. She hadn't been doing anything, like, all game, and apparently this had also made the Town very angry. Found in her hotel room playing Team Fortress 2, she tried and failed to use the nearest object she could grab- her laptop- as a flamethrower, she was handcuffed and taken away to jail to face trial for inactivity, which is obviously a more heinous crime than murder. Searching her laptops files returned absolutely nothing of interest- apparently she was just a Vanilla Townie.
Muttering a few choice words about Sakuro and DahliaXKristoph under their breaths, the players moved on to their chosen shelters for the night.
However, apparently a certain magical girl had different plans for how the evening would end.
Interrupting the SRS moment of SILENCE, Sakuro jumped onto the stage, startling the Game Master preparing to kill DahliaxKristoph and smiling widely as the crowd was thrown into an uproar. Sakuro, upon taking Dahlia's navy cape, twirled it around and shortly made DahliaXKristoph dissapear just as Kinokiita had a couple days before, before donning the cape and running off the stage, leaving as abruptly as she had appeared. This news reporter commends her speediness, as the citizens of the town were not pleased about Boss Vahlia being snatched out of their clutches.
In their anger, they went to storm the Golden Dragon hotel, supposedly where Endless Blasphemy had been staying. She hadn't been doing anything, like, all game, and apparently this had also made the Town very angry. Found in her hotel room playing Team Fortress 2, she tried and failed to use the nearest object she could grab- her laptop- as a flamethrower, she was handcuffed and taken away to jail to face trial for inactivity, which is obviously a more heinous crime than murder. Searching her laptops files returned absolutely nothing of interest- apparently she was just a Vanilla Townie.
Muttering a few choice words about Sakuro and DahliaXKristoph under their breaths, the players moved on to their chosen shelters for the night.
Friday, May 1
Day 6 - Here it Goes Again
After the last few relatively deathless phases (or as "deathless" as this City can be) tonight was much more chaotic. While citizens mingled around Town Center discussing D&D, Spanish homework, some users were not in as fair a situation...
The body of fatalfeline was found this morning in the art studio, sliced into almost unrecognizable ribbons by what can only have been Dahlia's razor winged butterflies. In fact, it proved impossible to tell exactly who she had been. Relatively used to this nonsense by now, her death was filed away by the authorities and the question of her role in the recent conflicts set as a 45 picarat puzzle to be solved at a later date.
On the other side of the city, Force was found dead at the Imperial Hotel. Although everyone knows Zakeri has long departed from the City and that playing Syringe Roulette with an unqualified "doctor" is a very, very bad idea, some players must have decided to take the risk anyway for a improvised game at the Imperial Hotel. We're pretty sure Force was an Honorable Citizen, so maybe the others will learn their lesson. But knowing these people, probably not.
NaturallyLazy, meanwhile, had decided to take a stroll through the City this fine spring night, instead of staying inside, before heading out of town for some business. Unfortunately for her plans, she was found lying on the ground in Masque Park, almost thought to be sleeping (although why anyone would think the influential mafioso would be sleeping in a park like a hobo is beyond this news station) until someone poked him and didn't have his hand immediately sliced off by a rapier. The mafioso, recently so confident in his position in the City, had apparently fell victim to a NOT AS PLANNED moment early this morning, as it was determined NaturallyLazy aka FerdieLance, of the Mafia had ultimately died of a heart attack. And somehow, I get the feeling this wasn't exactly according to anyone's plans...
The body of fatalfeline was found this morning in the art studio, sliced into almost unrecognizable ribbons by what can only have been Dahlia's razor winged butterflies. In fact, it proved impossible to tell exactly who she had been. Relatively used to this nonsense by now, her death was filed away by the authorities and the question of her role in the recent conflicts set as a 45 picarat puzzle to be solved at a later date.
On the other side of the city, Force was found dead at the Imperial Hotel. Although everyone knows Zakeri has long departed from the City and that playing Syringe Roulette with an unqualified "doctor" is a very, very bad idea, some players must have decided to take the risk anyway for a improvised game at the Imperial Hotel. We're pretty sure Force was an Honorable Citizen, so maybe the others will learn their lesson. But knowing these people, probably not.
NaturallyLazy, meanwhile, had decided to take a stroll through the City this fine spring night, instead of staying inside, before heading out of town for some business. Unfortunately for her plans, she was found lying on the ground in Masque Park, almost thought to be sleeping (although why anyone would think the influential mafioso would be sleeping in a park like a hobo is beyond this news station) until someone poked him and didn't have his hand immediately sliced off by a rapier. The mafioso, recently so confident in his position in the City, had apparently fell victim to a NOT AS PLANNED moment early this morning, as it was determined NaturallyLazy aka FerdieLance, of the Mafia had ultimately died of a heart attack. And somehow, I get the feeling this wasn't exactly according to anyone's plans...
Thursday, April 30
Night 5 - The Day the Music Died
It is not a usual occurrence in Mafia City to see the likes of Boss Velotix and FerdieLance lounging around Town Center, but that's what was happening today. Apparently mostly nonplussed by their enemies sitting around and chatting, things proceeded relatively smoothly as the Town discussed whether or not the duo were in possession of a Wall of Fingerprinting Powder or not and the two in question mocked the users every so often. Although you wouldn't think it judging from appearances, Fingerprinting Powder is actually very effective in warding off death. I personally suspect this is because having it thrown into your eyes distracts you long enough for your target to escape, but if you listen to the Cult of Pie it actually has very strong magical properties. Not that we'd suggest listening to the Cult of Pie.
Anyway, it was eventually decided that playing the dangerous game of deadlock in an attempt to dispose their enemies of this evidence would be put off until another day, as per most things in this City. As this decision was being reached one Phoenix_Apollo suggested they go for Aoshia. With Boss Vahlia's encouragement the annoyed user was quickly put on Death Row. Deciding that against a flock of sheep like this, defending himself would be futile, Aoshia claimed he was the quiet musician MercuryKitten and went to go wait until the end of the day, and his life, at the Concert Hall. As the clock struck the hour, citizens forced open the doors of the Concert Hall to reveal that Aoshia aka MercuryKitten, of Team Aoshi, was leaning over her grand piano, dead.
On the other side of the City, Sakuro looked up from doing her nails and realized she hadn't seen Endless Blasphemy in a while. Looking through the files she realized Comfortably Numb had been found dead but had so far been unidentified as a user from the City. Sounding mildly surprised the cause of death hadn't been lightning bolt for once, Sakuro identified her as Endless Blasphemy and fixed the records. Of course, she's still dead, but it's nice to know someone remembered who you were, right?
Another puzzle solved, the citizens of the Town headed out of Town Center. Mostly. All the free food's gone, you know, you really should leave. Shoo!
Anyway, it was eventually decided that playing the dangerous game of deadlock in an attempt to dispose their enemies of this evidence would be put off until another day, as per most things in this City. As this decision was being reached one Phoenix_Apollo suggested they go for Aoshia. With Boss Vahlia's encouragement the annoyed user was quickly put on Death Row. Deciding that against a flock of sheep like this, defending himself would be futile, Aoshia claimed he was the quiet musician MercuryKitten and went to go wait until the end of the day, and his life, at the Concert Hall. As the clock struck the hour, citizens forced open the doors of the Concert Hall to reveal that Aoshia aka MercuryKitten, of Team Aoshi, was leaning over her grand piano, dead.
On the other side of the City, Sakuro looked up from doing her nails and realized she hadn't seen Endless Blasphemy in a while. Looking through the files she realized Comfortably Numb had been found dead but had so far been unidentified as a user from the City. Sounding mildly surprised the cause of death hadn't been lightning bolt for once, Sakuro identified her as Endless Blasphemy and fixed the records. Of course, she's still dead, but it's nice to know someone remembered who you were, right?
Another puzzle solved, the citizens of the Town headed out of Town Center. Mostly. All the free food's gone, you know, you really should leave. Shoo!
Tuesday, April 28
Day 5 - Apocalypse Now?
The Ord Eel is a creature which is so stupid, it lacks the gills needed to survive in the salt water it is born in - it dies three seconds after birth. Due to this, it manages to avoid us asking the question of how the hell the species exists. By sharing this information with you, thou might be able to realise that I consider you all on the same level as the Ord Eel. Thus is the love of the GM, ever present and constant.
The person who wrote the above statement has been killed with a herring. Please ignore them.
Now, in current news, we found the body of Mid-Boss today. He had been impaled through the chest with a parasol; due to this, we can conclude that he is dead and that he was killed by a crazy redhead. As it was Mid-Boss who died, we decided to kick his corpse into a river and leave it at that, because it's Mid-Boss, nobody cares and there won't be a funereal. Rather, we'll laugh for ten minutes then have a cup of tea, followed by changing the name of his show ("Why Mid-Boss Is Awesome And You Should Listen To Him") to "Why Don Serrot Is Awesome And You Should Listen To Him". It will promise the same thrills as the last season.
We were also informed of another body found in Expose Park, found face down in the dust with a rapier in his back, leading us to conclude either his attacker was a no good rogue who snuck up on his opponents from the back or he had attempted to follow in his swordsman brother's footsteps and forgot that you never, ever turn your back on your opponent.
As someone in the police department was rather upset with the handling of Mid-Boss's body earlier they insisted on giving itsaqua an autopsy. They've informed us he died of a heart attack rather then the rapier wound, and judging from the recorder and digital camera in his backpack he appears to be the City's favourite eavesdropper, WhiteElephant.
I could you some encouraging advice, but I won't. So keep doing whatever it is you think you're doing.
~Written by the British Scott Ramsooair~
The person who wrote the above statement has been killed with a herring. Please ignore them.
Now, in current news, we found the body of Mid-Boss today. He had been impaled through the chest with a parasol; due to this, we can conclude that he is dead and that he was killed by a crazy redhead. As it was Mid-Boss who died, we decided to kick his corpse into a river and leave it at that, because it's Mid-Boss, nobody cares and there won't be a funereal. Rather, we'll laugh for ten minutes then have a cup of tea, followed by changing the name of his show ("Why Mid-Boss Is Awesome And You Should Listen To Him") to "Why Don Serrot Is Awesome And You Should Listen To Him". It will promise the same thrills as the last season.
We were also informed of another body found in Expose Park, found face down in the dust with a rapier in his back, leading us to conclude either his attacker was a no good rogue who snuck up on his opponents from the back or he had attempted to follow in his swordsman brother's footsteps and forgot that you never, ever turn your back on your opponent.
As someone in the police department was rather upset with the handling of Mid-Boss's body earlier they insisted on giving itsaqua an autopsy. They've informed us he died of a heart attack rather then the rapier wound, and judging from the recorder and digital camera in his backpack he appears to be the City's favourite eavesdropper, WhiteElephant.
I could you some encouraging advice, but I won't. So keep doing whatever it is you think you're doing.
~Written by the British Scott Ramsooair~
Monday, April 27
Night 4 - Something Completely Not Really Different
Today Mafia City was relatively quiet- it seems no one was particularly concerned with the death of ComfortablyNumb, aside from redundently wondering who she was and where she came from. Later in the day NaturallyLazy reappeared among their ranks, smiling secretively whenever anyone tried to question her how and where she had dissapeared to the Day before. Whatever business "FerdieLance" had to do, he must have taken care of it while the City slept- not a particularly comforting thought...
For the remainder of the day, as votes predictably started piling up again on the predictable target, there were tea parties and some discussion of a second lynch in case Sakuro decided to save their targets life. This didn't seem particularly interesting however, so instead of paying attention to this I wandered off and did some shopping, which was a much better use of my time.
At any rate as the sun went down, the citizens of the city advanced on NaturallyLazy, hoping that this time their would be no dazzling escape.
However, we all know nothing in this City is ever quite that easy~!
As the Day's timer ran out, Magical Girl Mafioso Sakuro! appeared on stage with a flash of light, accompianed by new assistant, NaturallyLazy. For her first trick, she pulled a rubber duck out of her hat. Since this didn't seem to amuse the Town very much (besides, isn't it supposed to be a bunny or something that the magician pulls out of the hat?) she decided to make someone in the crowd dissapear instead~! After dragging Kinokiita on stage, putting her in a box, and adding a few minutes of lighting effects, she opened the box to reveal... it was empty!
Search parties being dispatched to look for Kinokiita neglected to realize that NaturallyLazy had dissapeared as well, and the crowd grew restless (as Magical Girl Mafioso Sakuro had decided she'd better go look for Kino as well or risk being hit with a pre-calculus book to the face when the others did find her) because they seemed to be now lacking anyone to kill.
Recalling their earlier discussions, attention turned to DahliaxKristoph, who was found quietly singing to herself on a bench to the side of Town Center, entirely unconcerned with the citizens advancing on her. When one dared to grab her arm, jolting her out of her day dreams, she whipped a rifle out of nowhere and knocked out her aggresor with it. Naturally this drew the rest of the Town's attention as she struggled for an excuse for hitting someone with a rifle.
...but in Mafia City, there really isn't an excuse for hitting someone with a rifle, unless your name is Boss Velotix. Adding to the strangeness of the evening, the red head bolted under the Town's gaze, whipping out her cell phone and yelling angrily at someone on the other side. A few minutes later yet another helicopter descended into Town Center, and yet another dazzling escape was pulled off instead of a dramatic lynching as DahliaxKristoph floated off via helicopter like one of her razor-winged butterflies.
Really, members of the Town muttered to themselves as they headed to their destination of the Night, this is getting kind of ridiculous.
For the remainder of the day, as votes predictably started piling up again on the predictable target, there were tea parties and some discussion of a second lynch in case Sakuro decided to save their targets life. This didn't seem particularly interesting however, so instead of paying attention to this I wandered off and did some shopping, which was a much better use of my time.
At any rate as the sun went down, the citizens of the city advanced on NaturallyLazy, hoping that this time their would be no dazzling escape.
However, we all know nothing in this City is ever quite that easy~!
As the Day's timer ran out, Magical Girl Mafioso Sakuro! appeared on stage with a flash of light, accompianed by new assistant, NaturallyLazy. For her first trick, she pulled a rubber duck out of her hat. Since this didn't seem to amuse the Town very much (besides, isn't it supposed to be a bunny or something that the magician pulls out of the hat?) she decided to make someone in the crowd dissapear instead~! After dragging Kinokiita on stage, putting her in a box, and adding a few minutes of lighting effects, she opened the box to reveal... it was empty!
Search parties being dispatched to look for Kinokiita neglected to realize that NaturallyLazy had dissapeared as well, and the crowd grew restless (as Magical Girl Mafioso Sakuro had decided she'd better go look for Kino as well or risk being hit with a pre-calculus book to the face when the others did find her) because they seemed to be now lacking anyone to kill.
Recalling their earlier discussions, attention turned to DahliaxKristoph, who was found quietly singing to herself on a bench to the side of Town Center, entirely unconcerned with the citizens advancing on her. When one dared to grab her arm, jolting her out of her day dreams, she whipped a rifle out of nowhere and knocked out her aggresor with it. Naturally this drew the rest of the Town's attention as she struggled for an excuse for hitting someone with a rifle.
...but in Mafia City, there really isn't an excuse for hitting someone with a rifle, unless your name is Boss Velotix. Adding to the strangeness of the evening, the red head bolted under the Town's gaze, whipping out her cell phone and yelling angrily at someone on the other side. A few minutes later yet another helicopter descended into Town Center, and yet another dazzling escape was pulled off instead of a dramatic lynching as DahliaxKristoph floated off via helicopter like one of her razor-winged butterflies.
Really, members of the Town muttered to themselves as they headed to their destination of the Night, this is getting kind of ridiculous.
Sunday, April 26
Day The Fourth - Tired GM
It seems that this Town has something of an inverse domino theory going on - you start on four, then knock it down a peg into two and today, only one body was found. While each death is touching and sad (with the exceptions of Daan and Cracker who's entrails are currently being scraped out of the Blender), we must do our best to persevere through this tough times. Like paying severly inflated Death Cake at a local store near you.
Now, we decided to take a trip down to the Hospital this morning. We heard about a fight between the Death Note and some Camera Data on the way - and as a mostly respectable news station, we will not share it with you, mainly because we are almost entirely sure that the woman who gave us the news was one of Dr. Zakeri's patients and thus unreliable and untrustworthy. If you join us at 6PM yesterday, we will give you the full story.
By the time we had given said women (this being Aoshi) a swift boot out of the car at twenty-five miles an hour less then fifty miles, we noticed that one Comfortably Numb's deceased carcass hanging out of one of the window's on the second floor. Given some time (and a Rocket Launcher), the body came off the roof, revealing a letter from "The Great GMs In The Sky" and a note from DxK. When we noticed that she was not a resident of Mafia City (or at least, her corpse and no distinguishing features), we decided to use both letters - and her corpse- as kindling to keep ourselves warm while we waited for the medical eyeliner Velo so desperately needed. After we passed several snide comments about her face, of course.
And today, with the death of Comfortably Numb, the Chickenfucker, everyone in Mafia City can (and presumably will) own a Death Chicken. The may or may not be surgically fused with your spine.
And now we go to the court case of "Chaos vs. Order". Below at some quotes.
"Frog wizzle pop wiggley caterpillar doom chrysallis foooooooooom" - Chaos
"001100 110011 101010 000111 100001 001100" - Order
Now, we decided to take a trip down to the Hospital this morning. We heard about a fight between the Death Note and some Camera Data on the way - and as a mostly respectable news station, we will not share it with you, mainly because we are almost entirely sure that the woman who gave us the news was one of Dr. Zakeri's patients and thus unreliable and untrustworthy. If you join us at 6PM yesterday, we will give you the full story.
By the time we had given said women (this being Aoshi) a swift boot out of the car at twenty-five miles an hour less then fifty miles, we noticed that one Comfortably Numb's deceased carcass hanging out of one of the window's on the second floor. Given some time (and a Rocket Launcher), the body came off the roof, revealing a letter from "The Great GMs In The Sky" and a note from DxK. When we noticed that she was not a resident of Mafia City (or at least, her corpse and no distinguishing features), we decided to use both letters - and her corpse- as kindling to keep ourselves warm while we waited for the medical eyeliner Velo so desperately needed. After we passed several snide comments about her face, of course.
And today, with the death of Comfortably Numb, the Chickenfucker, everyone in Mafia City can (and presumably will) own a Death Chicken. The may or may not be surgically fused with your spine.
And now we go to the court case of "Chaos vs. Order". Below at some quotes.
"Frog wizzle pop wiggley caterpillar doom chrysallis foooooooooom" - Chaos
"001100 110011 101010 000111 100001 001100" - Order
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